Read the fine print. Out loud. Fast. That's how they do it.
-
Coming soon to a commercial break
PaydayPal Line of Credit
Can't pay your bills? Just use our line of credit until you get paid again! Low, low interest of 27%.
27% per paycheck.
-
Coming soon to a commercial break
LifeLoan Medical Financing
Can't afford your life-saving surgery? Apply for this medical loan! Interest just 37%.
Payments begin before you wake up from anesthesia.
-
Coming soon to a commercial break
Flocked Cameras
Tired of not knowing where everyone is? Flocked Cameras are your friend!
We sell your data to the highest bidder. Due process? Ha. The cameras saw you read this.
-
Coming soon to a commercial break
Buddy Hall's Big Fat Law Firm
Been injured in an accident? Got a controversy that needs adjudicating? Come on down!
We will see if your harm is even worth our time. The bigger the harm, the bigger the payout, the more likely we take 33.3%. Buddy has never been inside a courtroom. He has been inside a billboard.
-
Coming soon to a commercial break
Congress Stock Picks
Trade like a congressman! Know the news before the news.
Only works if you write the news.
-
Coming soon to a commercial break
Junk Fee Apartments
Rent is $1,500. Plus the trash fee, the valet trash fee, the convenience fee, and the pet fee. You have no pet.
Also a fee for reading this list. Total: $2,340.
-
As seen in Episode 2
ParlayPal
Bet your rent on a twelve leg parlay! Will the backup kicker sneeze in the third quarter? Now you can find out. Expensively.
Must be twenty one. Must be in a legal state of mind. If you or someone you love has a gambling problem, here is a promo code. Winnings paid in KentCoin. KentCoin is not money.
-
Coming soon to a commercial break
Ring Around the Neighbors
Watch your neighbors 24/7 and report anyone who looks suspicious.
Suspicious means walking.
-
Coming soon to a commercial break
Bail Bonds 'R' Us
Innocent until proven poor.
The poor part is proven immediately.
-
As seen in Episode 2
StreamMax Ultra Plus Premium Max
Tired of paying a hundred dollars a month to watch commercials? Pay a hundred and twenty. With commercials.
Price subject to change. Price has changed. Ad-free tier contains ads. Your favorite show has left the platform.
-
As seen in Episode 3
Rememberex
The memory pill for active seniors and the United States Senate!
Side effects may include freezing at podiums and a sudden urge to run again. If your term lasts more than forty years, consult a voter.
-
As seen in Episode 4
Northbound Movers
The only moving company for celebrities who are never moving!
Northbound Movers has never crossed the border. Canada has asked us to stop.
-
As seen in Episode 5
Pure Period
Raw spring water. Unfiltered. Untested. Unbothered.
Pure Period is not approved by the F.D.A. Pure Period is not aware of the F.D.A. Do not drink Pure Period. Pure Period is for looking at.
-
As seen in Episode 5
Wormexa
The first prescription for unexpected roommates. Because some tenants should pay rent.
Do not take Wormexa if you are a worm. Do not take Wormexa near a bicycle. Now available as a gummy. Bright red.
-
As seen in Episode 6
Red Blooded Threads
Freedom isn't free. It's nine hundred dollars. Plus shipping. From everywhere.
Designed in America. Zipper from six countries. Eagle sewn in eleven. Boone Freedomly is from Connecticut.
-
As seen in Episode 9
Redactra
One pill, and your memories come back with big black bars over them!
Side effects of Redactra include: black black black. Missing minutes. Sudden binders.